I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
