Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
