seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
