i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
