David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
