Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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