Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just tell him i said nine months
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
