I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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