Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize