i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
