You're so nebulous sometimes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
