You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
