It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
