evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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