Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize