ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
