living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
