I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
