I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
