well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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