If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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