I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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