I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
