A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize