Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
