Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
