my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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