Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
