It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
