Umm I'm too high to move.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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