I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize