We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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