Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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