Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
