My room smells like vodka and shame
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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