Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
