So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
