new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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