Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
