He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
