the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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