do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
