doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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