yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My liver just had a heart attack.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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