I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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