It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
