It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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