I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
honey bunches of taint.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
