tell your sister to shave her snatch
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
