my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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