If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
