We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
