so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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