I wanna passion pit in your ass
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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