i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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