So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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