i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
