Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My penis needs a shock collar
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
