eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
